Thursday, May 9, 2013

A Full Heart.

Mmmmm as I sit here at home outside in the sun with filtered coffee..my heart smiles thinking of South Africa..It has been a week now that I have been back in California..1 week ago I arrived on a thursday with messy hair, and lugging luggage around the LAX airport..was that really a week ago..Mmm we said our goodbyes a week ago..and for some I said goodbye a week and a day ago..to faces that became like family these past 3 months plus..can this be real? A part of me feels missing not complete with out the other 52 plus people in my life..and the big Blue Sky.. Was it a dream? My head hurts..My heart and mind race everywhere like riding on a train into Cape Town..// I can't help but wonder what everyone is doing now that they are back, and there are some that stayed back in Africa for travel, fun, and more mission/service adventures. I just pray that everyone is blessed no matter where they are at.

I have to admit, I have opened this blog post many times this week and tried to write, but it was hard to write, I think today I am finally ready. Mmmm it has been so good to be home though, I have loved being with my beautiful family again, my heart leaps inside..I have missed them so...Where do I even start. How can I even begin to fathom everything that went on these last couple months...

The day after I got back from South Africa, I went on along walk with my dad and dog Kiah..we caught up as I began to process everything ..thinking and laughing about the memories made, the funny stories, jokes, moments, ..and then contemplating and discussing the challenges and the things that scorned my eyes, the things I saw that my heart will never forget, the brokenness..the poverty, but also the joy that many have because of there hope in Jesus.~ It was a hot California day, we stopped at Starbucks a usual place where our families seems to have the best conversations..Mmm as my daddy and I talked he told me that he has never seen me more happier then I have been in Africa// He had the chance to see me in my element there// Mmmmm as he said that tears streamed down my face, for I knew he was right. Tears came down that hadn't been able to fall for days...as we sat outside a Starbucks in California.// Mmmm God has truly blessed me, as I said in my last blog I just feel Full..and I believe that is something that God is going to use now that I am home, to spill over back home in my own community and back at school in the Fall. I do not know what the summer holds, I am leaving that in the hands of my Savior..., but I am going to be available to wherever the Spirit calls~Goodbyes are hard to do, but in my heart I know I will be back somewhere, somehow, in sometime, someday, in God's timing, in another season of life..I will be back in Africa...~ I cannot thank the Lord for such a marvelous time in my life~ I have loved every aspect of this season of my life..through the joy and the painful moments..God remains sovereign and faithful through it all..Mmmm my heart is full. No words can fully describe, this has been a beautifully broken adventure. Thank you Abba Father..I have seen your heart once again.

Mmmmm one of my favorite Psalms that I read quite often on my trip~

Psalm 33~

Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the Lord with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

For the word of the Lord is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.
By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
he puts the deep into storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him.
For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.

The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people he chose for his inheritance.

From heaven the Lord looks down
and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—
he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.

No king is saved by the size of his army;
 no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
  despite all its great strength it cannot save.

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death
 and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord;
 he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, Lord. 
even as we put our hope in you.


Mmmm goodbye for now until we meet again, thank you everyone who has followed this blog, it has purely been my heart poured out on paper or should I say word document~as they say happens..a part of your heart will always be in Africa and that is so true..I have learned so much..and yet have so much to learn and share ~ Mmmm what a gift.

Shalom& Love

SarahRae


last morning look at Fish Hoek

Last South African Sunrise for this beautiful season of life~

http://vimeo.com/65947616 (Riv Life Video-Check it out)







1 comment:

  1. without a doubt a piece of your heart is left behind. Thank-you for sharing your adventure and your heart these past few months. I look forward to seeing how this experience will continue to change and mold you into an even more beautiful version of the lady The Lord has created. May His blessings continue to overflow in you and through you.

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